Monday, August 01, 2005

Cambridge bound...

This month marks the end of my six-year Austin adventure. When Hav and I moved here in September of '99, I knew only him. Since that time we've made some amazing friends, cultivated a strong sense of community, and finally found a place that I've spent the last few years proudly calling my "hometown".
And then, about a month ago, upon returning home from assisting a bootcamp, I realized that I felt like a stranger in the city that I had come to adore. In early June the long-term relationship that I had been in ended. It smarted like nothing I had ever known, and though I expected change would come from it, I hadn't considered that said change would include a move by myself to the other side of the country.
During my trip to Menla in early July I had a loud and clear call to leave Austin. I didn't really want to believe it as I was having a hard time letting go, but it kept surfacing until finally I acknowledged that it was time to move on. Then, the only question left was where and when. I made a short list of cities that I would consider going to based on some pretty basic criteria (on a coast, large city, good yoga) and it seemed that Seattle would be the natural choice. But the more I sat with it, and tried to get excited about it, it didn't feel right. Though I knew I wasn't choosing Seattle for the familiarity I have with it, it still seemed like returning home didn't exactly smack of courage.
As the other cities on my list gradually dropped away for various reasons, Boston became the only one standing. I still wasn't sure of when, but every time I thought about going to Level 2 in September, I realized that I couldn't come back to Austin afterwards; I needed to start on my own in a new city. And from there, everything just fell into place.
I think Emerson said that "once you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen". Well I think it must be true because amidst all of this change I feel unmistakably supported by the universe. It doesn't mean that it's easy to move -- indeed at times I have felt paralyzed with fear -- but louder than fear is faith and the knowledge that I'm doing the right thing.
So, come 29 days from now, I'll be bidding "so long" to an old friend, and "howdy" to a new one.
Go Red Sox.

1 comment:

King said...

I'm excited for you, this is a very good thing. I will miss you terribly.