Your Blogging or your life

W/out going into details of how I learned this or why (top secret stuff, kids... top secret stuff), following is my public service announcement for the month.

Blogging Don'ts (Unless You Want to Get Fired)
1. Blog when you're supposed to be working. Unless you can count it as lunch or something.
2. Write something identifiable (e.g. your company name, your name, etc.) if you don't want your work to find it. As I've been told by several people at my company *after* I was hired, if you're working here, you've been Googled.
3. So you don't care if people read your blog? Good - I don't either. But if you do and you're going to be very funny, but kinda mean, and you don't want to get busted then I suggest hiding your blog. Burying the damn thing, really.
4. Write from your work computer. This only matters if a) you care about them finding it and b) you're saying anything unflattering about anyone you work w/.

I'm sure there's more but I'm drawing a blank. See it's tough b/c I also feel strongly that you shouldn't have to censor yourself and also I get bugged when people make "don't do this or else" lists, so I'm not really the best person to be writing this anyway. Plus I really like what my friend Jenny told me a long time ago: "If you weed yourself out by your own truth then that's not a bad thing."

Sleepways is best ways.

***

But before I go, tonight was the last night of consultant training. For our celebratory dessert we got Sprinkles cupcakes. CUPCAKES??!! What am I, superhuman? I must be b/c somehow I, Fruit Cleanse Girl, ended up with two servings to take home. I told Dre (I've dropped "The Coveter" even though she still deserves the title) that she could have two and I'd have the other two in a few days. Sadly, driving home with those creamy mounds of goodness (mind...gutter...out), I even thought about the way I would wrap them *just so* to best protect them while they lay in waiting to be eaten. It was a beautiful plan.
I got home, put the cupcakes on the counter, and went into my room to talk to my friend Josie for the next hour. When I got out, I walked into the living room, told Dre that she could have the vanilla and chocolate ones to which she announced that it was too late, she'd already eaten the peanut butter ones. Wahhhh!!! She ate the ones that I was going to eat five days from now???!!!
Dude, what the f&*ck? I asked her. ('Scowled' is probably a little more accurate.)
Don't swear at me, she answered. She had a point -- even I was surprised by my burst of anger over a simple cupcake. (Though if you've been to Sprinkles you'd give me a *little* more rope.)
But that was mine, I whined.
I'll get you another one when you get off this cleanse IN 12 MORE DAYS.
I reminded her that technically I only have 5 left. The conversation ended when she agreed to explain to me just how and when she'd get me my replacement (she works in Century City and would go to Beverly Hills as soon as I get off of it).

You see, I'm here thinking I've been doing pretty good so far, and then you put a box set of cupcakes in front of me and I lose it like a feral animal who hasn't seen food in a week. It's got me wondering if all I've been doing over the past 15 days is repressing those sugar habits when in truth they're just lurking in the shadows waiting to spring up just when I think I've beaten 'em.

Stay tuned. Riveting stuff, folks.