I just got the worst massage of my life tonight by a blind guy. With like, a stick and stuff. I mean, he didn't use his seeing eye cane on me, but he might as well have. It hurt like a motherf*cker. You know how when you're driving down the freeway with someone who's going 90 and you ask them to slow down, so then they drop to like, 87? That's how he was. I'm not sure what kind of childhood he had so that "Ouch!" and "Gentler, please, no really, I mean, WAY gentler," are code for "Do the opposite." The whole experience was just so unsettling.
Follow up: I just called them, because my back is really sore, and they were like, "He has one of the best reputations in town." Umm, whatever.