Friday, February 03, 2006

The pie is infinite

I just returned from Austin and I'm exhausted! It was a long and fulfilling trip. I taught a few classes and a workshop which left me inspired and humbled. I saw a lot of my friends and also embarked on what is potentially a new path for me.

Yet it's good to be back in Boston. I frequently desire wherever I'm not and I really missed the studios here. The last time I went to Austin (in October) I found myself worrying over missed meditations and a relaxed schedule. I thought (by being there) I might regress a few rungs on the spiritual ladder. As it turns out, the ladder is not vertical and now I've learned to integrate at least enough to enjoy my time back in Texas while knowing that I'm always taken care of.

Something interesting came up while in Austin that underscored a theme I've seen recurring in my life lately -- moving without fear. I've struggled with decision-making for as long as I can remember. It's permeated even the smallest of choices. And then a couple of weeks ago I started employing a simple technique that has made a profound impact. Whenever I am fretting over a decision, I ask myself, "What would I do if I had no fear?". I mark which choice is associated with fear and I go in that direction. This has helped me tremendously not only in decision-making but in my relationships as well. I'm finding that many of my interactions and thoughts have been rooted in a fear, expectations, and assumptions of losing *some thing*. And when I drop the fear of losing whatever that thing is, I'm able to see much clearer and move more authentically. It just makes living so much easier.

The workshop turned out really well. I started out speaking on the tenets of assisting, which went over like a lead balloon. Yet, when I combined hands on experience with the principles, they seemed to respond much better and with greater understanding. I had so much fun with it -- my only regret is not enough time.

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