Thursday, May 11, 2006

On the road to Knowing you pass through the town of Trusting

I caught myself casually saying something recently along the lines of "I trust that ..." Afterwards I thought about the word and the context of trust -- the implication that the knowledge was not yet a posteriori, or perhaps the empirical equivalent of driving your car after a visit to the eye doctor. Huh? I'm new to metaphors so cut me some slack, okay? A N Y W A Y S ... I use this verb frequently when I'm talking about my friend, the Universe. And because I have a lot of time on my hands, I started to think about what separates trusting from knowing. What bridges the gap between the two? Or tow if you can't spell.
It seems to me -- and I'm opening this up -- that trust is the seedling to knowledge, the latter being cultivated by repetition of the idea. In order to trust, I have to first accept an idea as plausible, even likely, before putting it into my spiritual rotation. The hint of doubt is suggested when I'm not stating with authority that I have experienced x to be true. Indeed, stating "I trust..." requires an amount of faith, but is faith kinda like pregnancy -- you're either with child, or w/not? (Ooh I like "w/not"!)There is no middle ground? I don't know.
The miracle it seems is when what began as "I trust" morphs seamlessly into "I know" and it appears this happens simply by trusting enough times. A Course says that we teach what we want to learn and I'm finding that when I teach something (and I'm only able to teach something after an idea has scrolled through my own mind repeatedly) it becomes my own truth. The more I teach, the truer it becomes, until the idea is as known to me as my own name. It's almost like a miracle machine in which an idea or a product starts out on a conveyor belt in a raw, unbridled mess, and after being sent through the Socratic process it comes out in a New! and Improved! package, ready for my digestion. What makes it a miracle – in case I left you hangin’ – is that this is a process for healing. The unknown is made known, a light has been shone, truth has been revealed – the result of which is a piece of freedom. Eventually, I trust that those pieces will add up to the whole. Eventually, I trust that those pieces will add up to the whole. Eventually, I trust… okay, not clever anymore.
Today I went to MIT to begin collaboration on a project my friend Dan is working on. He's a lecturer at the Media Lab and a brainchild of his is called Online Yogi. It's in its infant stages but the possibilities are really cool. Today we got little accomplished, in large part b/c it's Sponsors' Week which means all the grad students are busy trying to finish being students, though I did get to see some really cool inventions. Shocking, but the place is teeming with smarties. Actually what I was shocked about was the number of hot grad students/PhD candidates. I'm embarassed to say that I've stereotyped MIT students to look like younger Bill Gates (no offense, Bill) and had no idea that brains could look so adorable.
April and my friend, Terry, stepped in this week as a guest columnist at the Dear Brutal Truth desk. He answered fearlessly and truthfully, which are our only requirements. And he's funny - something I consider to be pure bonus. Making chocolate chip cookies from meatloaf ingredients?! Classic.

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