Sunday, March 30, 2008

Housekeeping Stuff

1. We're moving to Hollywood in two weeks. 2 weeks from today, to be exact. Here's why this makes me very happy:

  • I will be able to take the subway to work (yes - LA has a subway).
  • My commute will drop from 45 minutes (at a minimum) to 15 minutes. And I'll get to read a book on the way. I mean, I do anyway, but now I can legally.
  • I'll be really close to my friends.
  • I'll be really close to City Yoga.
  • The guys at the Fairfax & Santa Monica Whole are hot. (Uhhh....the patrons. No offense.)
  • Washer / dryer in my apartment. Seriously.

I'm sad that I won't be near the ocean or the nail place with the owner who mistook me for Dre's mom, but I think I'll live.

2. I'm FINALLY starting to feel better. As evidenced by my unhealthy healthy appetite.

3. This is going to be a really busy week at work with long days. I have to miss two of my yoga classes and I always feel conflicted/bummed about subbing my classes.

4. There's this point when you learn that injury and illness, or even just having misalignments are usually tied to some event or a series of patterns in your life. In holistic medicine this is why they refer to disease as dis-ease -- it's the belief that the physical body is merely an expression of what's going on internally. This knowledge can be healthy: you become inspired to look for the root cause, instead of just masking the symptoms. It can provide you with the tools to stop behaviors that don't really work for you.

And then also, if you have any sort of Type A, it can trigger this obsessive routine of analyzing and picking apart until a bee sting is no longer a bee sting, but rather a spiritual poke on the shoulder to look at the residual sadness over your father yelling at you for smoking a cigarette when you were 6. Okay, now I'm mocking, which isn't really fair since I think there's tremendous value and validity in looking at the recondite, but I'm trying to make a point here. Whatever you uncover when you keep asking *why* - why am I sick? why do I keep injuring my neck in the same place, etc., I think it's good to realize that the answers to these questions are only meant to be tools for your toolbox. They're not supposed to be used as weaponry so you can feel worse, more defeated, more broken -- they are merely pieces of information. THAT'S IT. Everyone's got shit to deal with, you know? There's no shortage of people with a hard childhood and insecurities a mile long. At some point it only perpetuates that which you're trying to heal to feel like you have to fix it; like there's something you have to mend with some life-threatening urgency. It's all just information, and you take it in, then move on.

Who really cares if someone looks at the injury in your wrist and can tell that your parents got divorced when you were 11 and you're still smarting? So what? Baggage spares no one. The difference is, does it have to keep holding you back? And I guess this doesn't fit for everyone, but if you're the sort of person who's unusually hard on yourself and obsessed with figuring out the why, then I guess I'd invite you to STOP trying to figure it out. Just let it be kinda messy for once - let yourself look like you don't have it all figured out. See what happens. Maybe those injuries will start to heal in ways you didn't expect.

5. Yesterday I was called on to teach in my teacher training. No big deal, right? Well, right, but jesus I got so scared. I felt like I was back at L2 all over again. I've been teaching for almost five years (wow, that's gone fast) but Anusara is new to me and it scared the piss out of me to get up there and teach freakin' tree pose -- a pose I've taught roughly 3 million times. That was part of the problem, I mean, I didn't want to just teach from rote. Which of course, if I would have taken the time to breathe first before I began I wouldn't have. But I didn't and there are a hundred things I wish I would have done, said, embodied differently and yet, it's kinda fun being all shaky and nervous. I kinda feel like the more I get put in situations where I freeze up the more opportunities I'll have to just really go for it.

6. Bedways.

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