Waterloo Sunset

Last weekend was SXSW.  In years past I have done a daily blog.  This time around, I guess maybe b/c I was focused on other things, I couldn't keep up.  And now, a week past the event, I'm going to keep it simple and just list the bands that I saw.  Notice that I could not have seen all these bands if in fact, I had fallen asleep at 10 every night as my "friend" likes to think.  One night, people.  One night.   I fell asleep at 10.   I think I was roofied.


Wednesday
Ruby Isle:  No.  
Modern Skirts:  A great way to kick off SXSW
Giant Cloud:  What a jam band should sound like.
Book of Black Earth:  Just kidding.
Warpaint:  Huh?!  A girl band?  From LA?  Yes, kids, yes.  Now sit down and prepare to have all of your pre-conceived stereotypes annihilated.  
The Morning Benders:   If Lennon and Ono had children and those children didn't look like Sean Lennon, they'd look and sound like these brothers.  They rocked.  


Thursday
The Veils:  Hearts, man,  I see hearts.  Too bad they're junkies.
Holly Miranda:  Unh uh. 
The xx:  Sigh.  I really wanted them to just kill it.  It didn't happen.  Maybe a few more years playing together will bring some depth.


Friday
Jukebox the Ghost:  I think this was the name of the band with the booty-poppin' lead singer.  Mesmerizing.
I could have sworn I saw more than one on Friday.  At any rate, Friday night we drove to Waco to get 1/2 way to Ft. Worth for a funeral on Saturday.  This sounds really odd, but I felt so blessed to have been in Austin so I could attend.  (RIP, Pete Durham.) 


Saturday
I have never had such a solid Saturday at SX as this one.  I just kinda got lucky.  (Not in that way.)
Matt Pond PA:  Hot.
Total Abuse:  The name says it all.
KIT:  Eh.
Best Coast:  I liked.
Real Estate:  Oh, Real Estate.  I missed you in Brooklyn the weekend before.  Now I know exactly what I missed.  You delivered.  Somehow even you make Blind Melon sound good.  
Home Video:  So.  Much.  Fun.  Especially the impromptu dance party.
And, last but not least... HOLE:  Jesus, I didn't expect to like Courtney Love.  She won me over by opening with Big Star's "13."  (RIP, Alex Chilton.)  In case I'd forgotten what a rock star was, she reminded me.  Well done.


And, to close, my flight was supposed to leave at 7 a.m. but it was cancelled.  Something about the weather in Dallas.  (Yes, it was snowing in Ft. Worth last Saturday.)  The only way I could get back to LA before Tuesday since all the flights were booked was to fly out of Dallas that night.  Which meant renting a car and hauling ass.  The good news is that I got a yoga class in and saw my friends and their kids.  


Until next time, Austin.

Less than a month

• Plane ticket:  check
• Wristband:  check
• Giddy, child-like excitement:  check

SXSW, y'all!  It's less than a month away.  This is my very favorite time of year.  I spend the preceding weeks listening to music ad nauseam and cleansing, kind of, since the Wednesday - Sunday a.m. stretch can be a toxic blur.  (In the best possible way.) 

So far, I'm excited that The Generationals are playing a day show on Thursday at Home Slice.  And, I'm crossing my fingers that The XX are playing either a day show or after-party (and that I can get in to that) since I have a No La Zona Rosa policy and that's where they're currently scheduled to play on Friday night.  

Awesome like a kitten!

***

This week for my weekly creative date (as part of the Artist's Way) I made homemade vanilla extract.  It's super easy, except that you have to have a lot of patience.  Like, two months worth.  Here's how it goes.
Step 1.  Gather ingredients:

• 1 vanilla bean (I love this store The Spice Station in Silverlake)
• 2 oz. vodka (use a decent vodka)
• Glass container

Step 2.  Slice the vanilla bean in half, then cut into 1/2" pieces.  Place them into the container.  Add vodka.   Take a shot for yourself.  (Just kidding.)  Seal.  Let it sit for one - two months, shaking occasionally.  

Step 3.  Add a label 'cause it's fun.  

I added a little homemade label using a random sticker I found around the house and an old business card. 

The other side.

SXSW is over. I’m on my way back to LA, back to conference calls, guitar lessons, and laundry. I’m tired. Below is a list of the rest of the shows I went to.

On Friday afternoon I headed to Fader Fort to meet up with Havis and Lance. If you’re not from Austin, nor a frequenter of SX, then you may not know that it’s really common to get free beer at the day shows. Fader continued the tradition but with Anheiser-Busch as a co-sponsor, instead of getting Shiner we got a choice between Budweiser or Budweiser’s new test-market product: American Ale, which did NOT pass this User Acceptance test case. I guess I shouldn’t look a beerhorse in the mouth.

I got there for Solid Gold, whom I liked about ten to twelve carats worth. They do have a sassy little number called “Get Over It” that I’ll download when I get back. (Btw, Havis made the observation – and I tend to agree – that it takes more energy to write bitter break-up songs than it does to just, umm, move on.) Next we watched a band from Brooklyn that I really liked – some kids called The Pains of Having a Pure Heart. By the time they finished their set, Dre showed up. We christened the first song from We Have Band with shots of Southern Comfort, which sounded like a good idea until I found myself walking three miles in 85 degree heat because driving was no longer an option. Anyway…

At night I went Cedar Street to see Pete and the Pirates (so good) and Beach House (tied for my favorite of the festival). Then I headed over to Buffalo Billiards where I caught the end of As Tall As Lions. The lead singer invited everyone up on stage for the last song to “sing along if you feel like it.” I mean, it’s his show and all, so I guess he has that right, but here’s what I want to say to the people who took him up on it: no one, besides you and maybe your mother, wants to hear you sing OVER the musicians. Fittingly, the next band was called Funeral Party. Dre and Christine met me and we hung out for a while until the songs all started to sound the same. We ended the night at Beauty Bar Backstage to watch Shout Out Out Out Outs. I’ve seen this Canadian gem on YouTube before and was like “eh.” But they killed it. Ohmygosh, their set was so much fun – a ton of energy; the whole crowd was dancing. They may not be one of those bands that translate on an iPod, so fair warning.

Btw, there’s a new late-night pizza place in town called Hoboken which I now like better than Stoney’s. I’ll say nothing of the name. (Ahem, Brian.)

On Saturday I spent much of the morning getting ready to co-host April’s shower, which transitioned into attending the shower and introducing a game to everyone that went over like pork at Hannukah. The game required everyone to list a fact about themselves that no one else knew and then you had to match the secret with the person. I found it online and it *sounded* like a great idea at the time but then it totally crashed-and-burned because a) not everyone knew each other and b) people made up dumb facts. I guess it was a better choice than my second idea of bobbing for knives. Anyway, I haven’t seen April since she was around 3 ½ months pregnant and she looked awesome. All belly.

After the shower I headed back to the convention center to catch Echo and The Bunnymen. Seriously cool. From there we went to watch some basketball (boo Texas, boo) and then off to the Parish for Merge/Barsuk night. Telekinesis kicked it off. They’re a band from Seattle where the drummer is also the lead singer. Holy shit. I can barely get two limbs going at the same time, let alone four, and vocals on top of that. We headed to Club deVille thinking that we’d need to get there early for Violens who came on at ten. Instead, The Warlocks were playing and after they were finished, the crowd cleared. I was really looking forward to Violens. They didn’t disappoint, but it was a different show than I had imagined from listening to their music online. I ended the night back at the Parish to catch The Rosebuds and Ra Ra Riot. I saw the Rosebuds a few years earlier at the same venue, but at the previous show their bass player dogged out and the sound was really lopsided. This time, they had a bass player and had since replaced Quirky Girl with Hot Girl, but I still would rather listen to them on an album if at all. By the time Ra Ra Riots came on, I was over the whole thing. I ended the night wishing I would have gone to watch Kanye instead (because Kanye is sooo indie).

So that’s it – all the shows I saw this week. I missed two bands that I wanted to see, so I’ll have to catch them when they come to LA. (The Wrens and Modern Skirts.) The upside is that I got to spend today at brunch with my friends and visit another friend’s new home, then dinner with other friends.

Bonus SWSX Observations Track:
1. This year, instead of a regular wristband, I was given a green artist's wristband. I've decided that this is the coolest distinction you can have. It way trumps badges. Dre asked me how I got one. "You're not an artist," she said. "Oh, but I am," I answered.
2. It’s WAY over-sponsored. I read in The Statemsen this morning that SXSW is the second most-promoted event in the US behind NASCAR. Really?
3. Third Eye Blind should not be anywhere near SX.
4. Free beer, including sucky beer, is still a good idea.
5. I no longer care about getting to a great after-party. I consider this a sign of growth.
6. Any time at SXSW, even if abbreviated, is rad. (Unless it’s Sunday. Then it’s not rad, it’s just over.)

P.S. Here's me at my guitar lesson. Like how I'm sitting down to play the electric?

sxsw vol. 9, day 4

I must admit: I'm tired. I couldn't force down another slice of pizza if it was covered in honey peanut butter, and alcohol sounds about as appealing as drinking grease. Hav just asked me if I want Nueva Onda - my old breakfast taco place- but I'm so carb'ed out I can't stomach it.

***

Erin K., if you happen to be reading, I wish you were here. Which is strange because we've never really hung out (unless you count yoga and running into each other at Emo's), and you seem more the sort that more prefers the less hyped scenes, but you've been on my mind, so there you go.

***

Today: Jovita's for the Redwalls at 1 p.m. then I hope to catch Devotchka at 3 or so.

***

Redwalls were solid. A couple of weeks ago I had tickets to see them in LA but I bailed, so redemption is lovely.

At Devotchka. It's packed and unless you're up really close, (which I am no longer), the sound sucks. I've heard enough now though to know that I want to give them a proper listen so it's not a loss. Also I just met the guy who pitched Carrie Brownstein's blog and a really cool girl from NY that we spent five minutes trying to figure out how we know each other (we don't).

We're here at Atlantic Records party to see The Virgins but they're not on till 7. Per Alo: finally, pay dirt - free beer. We listened to some girl (sorry) and now we're at Darwins for that drink I swore off of earlier.

***

Tried to rally to see my cousin's band (Mellowdrone) at Waterloo Park, but we gots no game. We got sidetracked and ended up at Serranos for dinner instead. Plus we might've missed them anyway.

***

First show tonight: M Ward at the Episcopal church (solo - no 'she' of She & Him). Badges only. Mothersratcher. Total bullshit. Seriously I'm pissed b/c there went my 10pm too (Jim James from My Morning Jacket). We saddled over to Parish to meet Lance, April, and Lori.

Tift Merritt is first up and she's not even getting a fair shot 'cause I'm still smarting from the M Ward high hat.

On to Esthers Follies (yep - a sxsw venue) to see Edison Glass. The Beatles are on the PA.

Turns out, that was the highlight of the show.

***

Sonlux now. Electonica/ Experimental change of pace. I'm not smart enough to figure it out.

***

Back at Parish for Jason Collett (from Broken Social Scene - or, the most incestous band in the universe). I saw him yesterday at Mohawk indoor and from the 5 minutes I heard I wanted some more. I think a Hasidic is playing tambourine. I wonder if he's spent any time around La Brea & Beverly. Dude would feel right at home.

Hannah came and met me! We just caught up (but too short). I had to leave to go say hi to Mark and that's okay b/c now I'm checking out something else - The Autumns. They're on before British Sea Power which was so good yesterday I'm considering a second helping.

Okay I am indeed staying here. Just finished with The Autumn who are kinda like a heavier Coldplay. Dudes rocked out at the end. And now I'm going w/ a sure thing rather than try another experiment b/c I wanna end it on a high note.

...And it paid off.

***

It's 4 a.m.and we're at Magnolia, having just polished off mag mud, pancakes, and tacos. I'm full, happy, and really sleepy.

This has been one of my favorite sxsw's. I saw a ton of music, and some particularly memorable shows. That said, I'm ready to get back to my healthy eating and yoga. I have a whole bunch of music to buy and I'm looking forward to The Cribs next month.

Until next SXSW... I'm out.

sxsw vol 9, day 1

Hi. I thought I'd blog my way thru sxsw this year b/c NOW I get why blogging and music go together like chocolate wafers and vanilla cream filling. At this moment I'm on the plane from Dallas. I'm oddly happy to be in Texas. The flight is chock full o' skinny jeans and long bangs. Here are my new converse cause yeah, I'm tat girl. More later. P.s. Blogging on phone blows bc my 'h' key sticks.
***
I'm here in line to get my wristband. The computers are down so it's 100 people long. I'm having fun though - like when I pretend I'm at Emo's w/ a beer in my hand.
***
And now I actually am. Havis, me, Lo, Lance n Alo. Just saw longwave. Now we're about to see Delta Spirit. I forgot my earplugs. There's been a no smoking ordinance in Austin for almost 2 yrs but you wouldn't know it. More importantly, you'll be happy to know that Alo and I are reprising DBT for the event. If for no other reason than we need a centralized location to air our err,share our picks.
***
Just got out of the Delorean show at Maggie Mae's. They rocked. After two hits of deep alterna I needs me some fast beats. I talked to the lead singer and the drummer. Damn them - no day shows going to MX tomorrow. On to Autolux...
***
I'm standing in line outside Buffalo Billiards - a place I've seen many great sxsw shows (Natural History, Soundteam) - to see Duke Spirit. This is the part about this event that sucks it. You wait forever to a hyped show, hoping to get in and then if you don't you move on to 2nd or 3rd choices. In years past cool doormen would always go like 3:1 badge:wristbands but apparently all the decent ones have retired. No secret - I've bashed the badgies forever (not you, Lo- never you) and this year I'm inclined to do the same. I hate you punk ass badgies who are like "Oh who's this band? Never heard of 'em but let's go!" Am I bitter much? Yeah...It's 1 a.m. now so if not Duke Spirit then home. P.S. Autolux not my bag. I shoulda figured but thought maybe live would be different.
***
I'm in. And there's a ton of space. I waited in line forever - they're late coming on - and the doormen made such a big deal about no wristbands. I get up here and I can walk straight to the front. Wtf, mate? I can't believe I'm actually complaining about getting in. Yay they just finished the last of the three songs I'd hoped to hear. There's 10 mins left in their set but I'd say that's a night.

Bloggety blog blog

Some upsetting news from the files of Products-I've-Never-Bought-But-Have-Wished-Many-Times-That-I-Had:

Polaroid is discontinuing the production of instant film. Read about it here. You know why this blows? I used to live across the street from a woman (Michelle, of Pat-n-Michelle) who would bring a Polaroid camera to parties and bars. Which was really awesome since no one wants to carry a camera but everyone's glad when the pictures come out. *Mostly.* Also, there are neat Polaroid processing techniques that now I'll never do, (e.g. image transfers), which would've prompted my friends to label me creative! artistic! wow - how'd you think of that?! To which I would've smiled graciously and told them: I don't know, it's just something I threw together, in the way that means that they'll never get it. But now, because I waited too long, I'll never experience the sort of fame and adoration that having a Polaroid B.D. (Before Discontinuation) will bring you. There will be no eBay-ing after the fact. That'd be like buying a Smiths t-shirt in '98.

***

My friend Todd sent me this SXSW link. http://sched.org . Apparently God saw my handiwork and decided I needed help.

***

In the latest New Yorker, Jack Handey writes this issue's Shouts & Murmurs column, entitled How Things Even Out. Since 'balance in the universe' is a cornerstone of yogic thought, imagine my excitement to get a modern perspective on a centuries-old philosophy! As great teachers do, Handey uses simple, easy-to-understand examples to support his position. Here's one:

"One moment you're depressed because the doctor tells you that you have alcoholism. But then you cheer up when you go home and find a hidden bottle of vodka you had forgotten about."

I think I'll save this gem for Frog.

***

Oh - and one final (disappointing) note: I won't be doing that last Improv 201 performance, after all. See I had to make a choice between yoga training and improv since I found out tonight I didn't have the option to go in and out of class. I'd have to make up (read: pay for a private) the yoga training if I did the improv thing. Since I'm going to SXSW and already have to pay for three make-ups because of that, there's my answer. And since you can't leave the court on a missed shot, I'll def be taking 201 again.

fitness for your inner witness

I got a wristband. Normally this occasion would call for an exclamation point, at least, but I'm suspicious. Yeah, I got one, (actually, April got me one) and so did everyone else I know. Which means either less than 4000 people signed up, OR, me and all my Austin friends are just incredibly lucky. I suppose it could also mean that they awarded more than 4000. Either way, the countdown's begun and I'm happy as a shark in a kiddie pool. Thank you to April for entering on my behalf. If you end up getting a badge, consider sleeping with one eye open.

***

My friend Ricky is in Marrakesh right now chillin' like Dylan. He took a 3 month leave of absence to travel: the first month he's trekking Morocco, then he'll head to India where the remaining two will be spent volunteering. Something in him has shifted, he says. He's spent mornings watching the sun come up over the Sahara. He's met a ton of cool people in between hostels and excursions. In spending time amongst Moroccans, he's realized that happiness is independent of money. I'm caught halfway between inspired and jealous.

His IM today came at a curious time. This very morning (before I heard from him) I was thinking about how I always said I would live in a foreign country before 30. Kansas, foreign as it was to me, doesn't count, so I'm back to wondering when the heck I'm gonna make good on that.
***

This morning in teacher training Tara said something that I'd like to pass on: There is no such thing as BAD meditation. So true, so true. I hear people say that they are frustrated when they can't stop thinking or that they don't have enough time. To those concerns I say, first, you wouldn't be human if you didn't think. Sit anyway. Eventually the thinking gets quieter. Second, anything, and I do mean ANYTHING is better than nothing. For example, I woke up late this morning and didn't have a lot of time before training so I only meditated for 3 minutes. That's it - just 3. And yet I walked out my front door and balanced a Chevy Pickup on my right index finger, spun it around a little, too. All from those 3 measley minutes. Just kidding. But serious, it's really is good for you, and any amount of time "counts".

Speaking of counts and then counting, I told my roommate I'd get up at 6 and run with her tomorrow, which means the only counting I should be doing is some sheep.

i should be in bed by now...

Today is Lo's bday. Happy Birthday Lori! You are the raddest chick I know. (I guess since I'm typing this after midnight, technically your birthday's over. It still stands.)

***

In other news, today was also the kick-off of the SXSW wristband lottery in which 4000 LUCKY saps pay $139 each for the privlege of standing just outside the door to hear Vampire Weekend even though they've been waiting in line for 3 hours while the badgies waltz in. Don't get me wrong - I still want that honor. And here's my first annual prayer begging for wristband love (This is the absolute lowest I'll stoop. Seriously):

Dear Jesus,

Remember me? I talked to you last year when I needed something. Anyway, that's all water under the bridge. Please let me "win" a wristband.

Thanks Jesus!

Best,
Vanessa

long overdue update

It's been slow bloggin' 'round these parts not for lack of activity or worthy news (which you know has never stopped me before) but because I've been overwhelmed. It's been a tough few weeks what with family stuff, and lots of work, and a busy schedule and whatnot. I wanted to write but nothing came to me. Nothing that I could write about that wouldn't affect someone else and that I wouldn't have to explain later. So you see, it was easier this way.

For those of you who've been curious, things in Seattle went well. I'm so proud of my mom. It was great to see my little brother, and Hav was a god-send. What the four of us accomplished in a few days is nothing short of miraculous.

***

This may just be my last year at SXSW. It'll be my 9th. As Hav said yesterday, "it'd be nice to stop things at nice round number like 10, but this may be all I can take." (And because I see meaning in a sack of flour, I couldn't resist the metaphor extending to our relationship.) He's right though - the whole wristband thing is threatening to push me over the edge too. The gist is this:

A lottery is being held for 4,000 wristbands at $139 each. Basically, if you have a credit card w/ an Austin billing address you can enter the drawing, but you can only purchase for yourself and one other NAMED person. If your name is selected, your credit card is charged for the wristbands. You have to pick up yours in person and oh yeah, they're non-refundable, and NON-TRANSFERABLE.

The SXSW Overlords say that this is to prevent scalpers from profiting, which is bullocks. Shit I'm probably jinxing myself because I'm obviously not pissed enough NOT to enter, but seriously -- was the black market really that much of a problem? For whom? Anyway, I'll be curious to know if the amount of badge sales dramatically increase. I'm sure it'd just be an "unintended" byproduct of their oligarchical benevolence.

***

Hav's parents just had their 60th!!! anniversary. I jokingly told them that there's no way I'll ever catch them since I'd have to like start tomorrow and live to a pretty ripe age to even be a threat.

***

Picked up a book at the airport this morning - Yes Man by Danny Wallace. It's a kind of Eat, Pray, Love for dudes since it's written by one, except chicks will like it, except it's one of those things like Eat, Pray, Love which transcends genders/sexes/whatever. I'll stop trying to put it into a box it doesn't belong in and just say that I couldn't stop reading. It's one man's story of what happens when he, you guessed it -- says YES for almost a year. Hi jinx ensue, of course. More importantly it illustrates what happens when we open to possibility. I finished it tonight which is the only way I'm up typing now -- I can't stop thinking about its application in my own life.

And with that, good night.

Guess Who's Back?

Okay one looonnnngggg weekend later and here I am. I had the BEST time at SXSW. To describe it would be futile so I'll give you a rundown of events. I'll let you imagine the fun. (Think big.)

Friday: Sonya and the girls, Jenny, and Alo at the Whole. My favorite people at my favorite place for eats. Day shows -- Fratellis. Tried to get into Fader party. Lines long. Left, got dinner w/ all our friends. Maggie Mae's - Page France. I love when you see a band you've never heard of and it's a great show. Sloane at Dirty Dog. Dirty Dog photo booth. Will post. SoundTeam at Buff Billiards. Lance and Mike ate corndogs from the buffet table. Nasty pizza at 2 a.m. Bedways.

Saturday: Day shows -- umm yeah, I slept through most of them. Went to gym and a steam. Home Slice for day shows. Wore a bunch of green. Dinner at Vinnie's (great strategy). Four super balls. Nap. Cedar Street. Waiting in line at Parish. Couldn't wait. Barcelona. Dancing. What? During SXSW? That's right and totally fun. April: robot. Habana Calle for +/-. Another fine example of catching a pleasant surprise. The thing is, you see 30 bands to see 2 or 3 memorable shows which keep you coming back. Mag Mud (ridiculous amounts of it) at 2 a.m.

Sunday: Sleepy. Ruth. Phillip. (Should have seen him much earlier in the weekend but circumstances warranted otherwise.) Waco. Mac n cheese. Chocolate pie. Texas lost. Jeans tight.

I didn't even get to see 1/4 of the bands I wanted to see but this year it was about just spending time with friends. So I'll be catching up on sleep and stuff for the next week.

***

Gandhi say something about a clear mind is only reached through a clear body and if so I think a detox is in order. Oy. I miss my yoga.

who?

Never drink and blog.

***

There's a lot of controversy around The Secret right now. (I could link to the Newsweek article, etc, but I'm too tired and lazy.) Cynics are pissed about the author's approach to weight, calling the Law of Attraction a "secret" (as if it were meant to be hidden), the assertion that people can, to large extent, have impact on their environment, and oh yeah, that the Law of Attraction itself is a load of phooey.

Just for fun, I'd like to take a stab at those contentions:

1. Weight and The Secret: Okay I should say I haven't read the book, only seen the DVD. Apparently in the book Byrne says if you want to lose weight, stop looking at fat people. This makes a whole bunch of people mad. I can understand that, if you believe that being fat is "bad". It's not. It says nothing about you as a person, and that's really important to understand. Not even the worst thing you've ever done or said or has happened has anything to do with who you are -- really are. I don't know that someone's coined a law for this truth, but it is called forgiveness, and it's super important. Without it, we walk around feeling attacked, feeling less than, feeling better than, feeling like we're RIGHT. Trust me -- living in that world where everything is bad or good, right or wrong, is the lamest place to be and you want to free yourself from it. Learning this will change your life. I think it's only from the understanding that the ego is *always* a liar, that the principle behind the Law of Attraction should or can be understood. In the end, I don't know if her weight loss tips work or don't work, and frankly, I'm not inclined to try it, but I do know that shame will tell you you're being attacked, when you're not.

2. What's so secret about the Secret? Dude, I don't know either. I have a bone with the name, too. I've argued this w/ my friends before to little avail. The movie opens up and says that all the great sages of time have known about the Law of Attraction. There are lots of images of yellowed scrolls and whispered narration and like vanishing typescript. It's the aural/visual equivalent of finding out about a special aftershow at SXSW. The problem is, calling it the 'The Secret' implies an intent to hide where there was none. I'm an amateur semantician and I gotta say the misnomer bugs. I suppose the name is sexy but what's branding without integrity?

3. Everything that happens to you, you invited. The Secret contends that with our thoughts and emotions we put ourselves at a certain frequency, and so what happens to us in the present is merely the manifestation of previous thoughts and feelings. So the two big criticisms with this contention are a) Are you saying that baby asked for the AIDS? and b) How can you control other peoples actions?
Firstly, I can't say I know *why* things happen. But I do believe in that Buddhist maxim that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. Sucky things happen all the time; it doesn't mean they don't hurt, but there is a distinction to be made from feeling pain and being a prisoner to it. To me, it's immaterial if I "willed" something to happen and in fact dwelling on it just keeps me in the event. What's more meaningful is: what am I going to do now that this HAS happened? How do I want to feel about it and what can I do in the future? I can be bitter, pissed, and all that, but I know from my own experience the more I hang on to anger or shame, the more I keep experiencing different variations on the same theme. In this way, dropping the stuff that keeps me victim to the past changes what I'm going to experience in the future.
Second -- yep, other people still have their own free will. So it's kinda silly to me to even hang my hopes on someone else. It's like, just keep doing what you know to be true, keep experimenting with where to find Truth and it will all work out. The right people, the right things, they'll find you. It's not about anyone else.

4. Law of Attraction? More like Law-of-a-You're-a-Sucker. Okay, not clever, but I'm leaving it anyway. My point is that the critics think the theory is shite. That's cool. You don't have to believe it, but why not try it out? If you don't believe in the power of thought anyway, well then it certainly can't hurt. So maybe just start small, with immaterial things, like having a happy day. Start with the gratitude piece and go from there. No judgment, no right, no wrong, just start with the gratitude and see what happens.

9 1/2 weeks

Poor Ohio State. Owwwieee.

***

I found my new best friend. It's red and strawberry-ish, $10.50 a lb. and I found it in this candy / card store on San Vicente. I am dreaming about it right now. That licorice understands me better than I know myself. I have no problem paying for friends.

***

Oh dear - the lineup for SXSW is leaking and it's ridiculous. Renee and I are starting the intention setting now for a private Interpol show. A few years ago Alo, Lance, Renee, Johnking and I tricked our way into this hipster after-party -- the kind you only hear about from friends of friends of friends and you have to either sneak or plead your way into. Whatever, we all got in, and ever since it's been the hunt for these kinda digs -- the hot bands are playing small sets, illegal substances strewn about (drugs are bad, kids), djs spinning, and lots of people who don't get out of bed for less than a pack of cigarettes a day, and look cool doing it. Since our group is likely to change by this time next year, there's the threat that this just might be THE LAST ONE, and with that the subtle pressure of making sure it's the kind of SXSW that three years later you're still saying "Remember when..."

The desert and dessert

I just got back from a mini-holiday to Palm Springs / Joshua Tree and I know how to vacation like I know organic chemistry. Which is to say, I don't. Mistake number one: I brought my Blackberry. And used it. A lot. Doh. Mistake number two: I booked my return flight so early that I had to get up at four a.m. to catch it. Needless to say I didn't. Upside is that missing my flight allowed me to go to Whole Foods for some Kombucha and also to Zen Zoo for some Rooster tea - both of which delight me greatly.
I love the desert! I can't believe I'm saying that b/c for a really long time anything that didn't look like a bunch of Evergreens between glacier peaks was unimpressive. Even my first few trips to Big Bend were fun, but paled to the Northwest. I've been to Joshua Tree before, yet this time I discovered what millions already know -- that the desert is not only its own standard of beauty, but it's peaceful and healing.
Renee came w/ me for part of my trip. I pretty much lied to her to get her to hike w/ me. (Renee: "It says here this hike is 'moderately-strenuous'. What does that mean?" Me: "Don't worry, Nay, they rate those for the lowest common denominator. Basically it's considered strenuous to like my 80-yr-old grandma who can't move w/out her walker." Renee: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yeah of course. Dude I totally know these things yo.") Famous last words. Who knew that the people who rate the hikes at Joshua Tree are pretty spot on? After the hike I salvaged what was left of our friendship by lulling her into the hot springs. The soothing waters washed away the residual muscle pain and, fortunately, any bitterness Renee held towards me for draggin' her up the mountain.
Oh and during my three day westward journey the company for whom I work merged w/ our competitor. I don't know exactly how it will affect me, but significant change is imminent. I could spend time worrying about it, but really I don't want to. It's too much effort and I'm still trying to recover from going on vacation. Plus if anything I've learned that resistance to change is futile so there's nothing gained in being negative.
***
SXSW is around the corner! Thank you D for getting my $130 wristband. You can't buy these things on the Internet, and several THOUSAND people (Durham and Alo among them) waited in line at Waterloo today for the precious jewelry. One-hundred-and-thirty bucks? What the... ??? Sadly, the fact that they're limiting the number of bands they sell to 4000 till the opening day when they'll re-assess means that they've likely oversold badges. In the sxsw hierarchy, badges always trump wristbands, (just like queens always trump pawns unless of course your pawn becomes a queen but really I have no business mixing metaphors), which means that another year will likely go by in which I begrudge the Badgies, publicly snubbing their snobbiness while secretly coveting their shiny laminated necklaces.
***
A friend of mine, Colin Borchert, had a poem published in this month's Adbusters. I would tell you what page it's on but since Adbusters doesn't number their pages and I can't be bothered to count 'em, I won't be telling you what page it's on after all. But check it anyway. It's lovely and very clever.
***
In the desert I felt inspired to really simplify my home. To that end, tonight I bought an apple corer. I eat a lot of apples. I love them -- especially Braeburn. Fujis are good too but Braeburns are just a little more tart and usually firmer. I wasn't even hungry but I just had to core an apple using my new device. Also, now that I have a ride I can easily go to the Whole Foods on the other side of town which carries fresh Honey Peanut Butter! Will power is the only thing stopping me from eating apples and HPB (which incidentally is also an acronym for one of my customers at work) all day long. But back to simplifying. Apple corers seem like slippery slope devices -- the kind of instruments that lead to egg-separators, then to olive pitters, and eventually I'm buying walnut crackers and lemon zesters. Bad news.

beyond sxsw

Hands down my favorite time of the year to be in Austin is during SXSW. The city is teeming w/ musical effervescence and it's the only time of the year where the usually ubiquitous college guys in their layered American Eagle gear are outnumbered by shaggy jet black-haired rockers weighing about a buck-o-two. Celebrities abound, and my neighborhood with its trendy coffee shops and slightly avant-garde clothing stores becomes packed to capacity. And yes, I love this! Except this year. On the heels of an exhausting trip to DC I couldn't quite get into the swing of sxsw. In fact, I missed Wednesday and Thursday nights all together owing to the fact that I was physically beyond drained. In years past that would have been scandalous. I rallied Friday night to little avail but managed to catch Bloc Party at Stubb's which I dug. Then Saturday after getting up to teach a 7 a.m. class (ouch), I hit the Tillery St day show for one of my favorites, Palaxy Tracks. Amazingly I made it through long enough that last night to catch Robbers on High Street (given that I opted out of Spoon this was especially welcomed) and Ambulance Ltd. Good thing when I'm tired I still have an appetite. We all hit Magnolia after the shows, for which I'm still paying. But back to retrospection. My friend April said this was her favorite sxsw ever and I do wish I had felt that same enthusiasm. The thing is I just didn't have the energy this time around for something that in the past has come so naturally. Even last year, had I missed something akin to this year's highly regarded Sleater Kinney set, I would have lost it. This year -- boy was I thankful for my sleep. Please tell me I'm not turning grandma. (Nothing against grandmas -- I love mine.)

***

I'm Hawaii-bound! V. exciting! I get to assist at the Level 1 bootcamp which I'm beyond psyched about. I remember my Level 1 almost two years ago and how much it changed the course of my life and so I can't wait to go back! This time around my friend Heidi is going (fingers crossed, application is still in) and Malia, Becca, and Danean from the studio will also be there. I hope they find it as enriching as I did (err, after I got over the first few days in which I was *sure* I couldn't make it the whole week).