Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Why? and other questions I can't answer

Yoga Blog, on your right. The biggest shift occurred in my teaching recently when I started being the kind of student I'd want to teach to: The kind of student who is open to learning and unselfish. (Yes, I've tried this several times before but it finally feels like it's sticking.) Remember that post where I listed all the things that bug about yoga teachers? That came back to bite me immediately and I was pissed so I decided to try an experiment. I decided that any teacher I took I'd find something I liked about the class. It has had a really cool effect on my practice and also in the way I teach.
Not long ago, Margaret and I were talking about the importance of teachers being good students. It's pretty easy and can be habitual to find things that you don't like about a class or a teacher. After all, there are a ton of 'em out there. But Margaret brought up a good point: what's not to like about being in your body? Umm I don't know? Was she trying to trick me?! Whatever - her question was yet greater proof that I needed to get straight. The result is that I've lightened up. A lot. The other day I went to a hip hop yoga class to test out my new practice. The music was so loud I couldn't hear my breath. I hadn't realized before how dependent I was on the *sound* of my own breath to be in my body. Admittedly, my first thought was like "This blows," but as I stayed w/ it I found the beauty in learning to be in my senses when my usual markers were gone. I learned some tricks that will come in handy especially well in life and in the event I find myself in the middle of NYC without my wallet. Anyway, not sure if I'll go back since I do not prefer music in class, but I left happy nonetheless. And willingness is everything.

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My mom won another cooking contest. Chocolate scones, this time. Her talent is boundless.

Speaking of cooking, Dre likes all things little. Well, most things little. Ba dum bum. So I got home from consultant training tonight and made peanut butter cookies and muffins b/c I'm neurotic. Anyway she begged me to make mini cookies and I didn't want to and got a little snotty (not in the dough though). So she rolled the last batch and they're the size of quarters. I do have to admit, she's won me over on this one.

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A) Increase the minimum wage for godsakes. B) More troops??? How is that?
And, is there something wrong with a blog (or a writer) in which 98.5% of its content is decidedly devoid of current events? Should I have to apologize by being uninspired, or is it depressed, by news? Is it a reflection of character or intellect? I don't know the answers to any of those questions, but I do know that for the past almost two years I've been detached from the news. I pay attention -- I totally watch the Daily Show. (That's a joke, folks. I'm much more of a Colbert Report kinda girl.) Anwyay I pay attention but I'm just not interested. They say if you scratch the surface of a cynic you'll find a disappointed romantic. If you scratch the surface of an optimist what do you find? I can't deny feeling as though it doesn't make sense to be emotionally vested in current events -- our times are not unique. Like everything happening in this world is all temporary and all the woes and suffering are only part of yes, what currently is, but also what has been for all of human existence. Maybe I'm suffering from hyper-Buddhism? Or is it hyper-Meism? I don't know -- I'm pretty unclear about this and I don't like feeling guilty for it. I think about my boy Gandhi and how he couldn't have led India towards independence had he turned his back on current events - in fact he wrote for newspapers -- so am I irresponsible to be dismissive? Am I being dismissive? Will it take something happening to me personally to rediscover the visceral response to the news that I remember? Maybe my answers lie in volunteering more - and by 'more' I mean, 'greater than zero.'

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